what the heck is wrong with me? i absolutely cannot understand. i just have higher activation energy i suppose, and i know that i can do it, with just a little bit of effort. i don't need to read something ten times to remember it. if it interests me, one read is all it takes. maybe 2, if the content's a little bit factual, because i've got that focus that helps me retain it. i just need to find that focus. ha! easier said than done, don't you think?

i like thinking about a life beyond mine: there are so many things that seem so much more important. saving the oceans, helping the afghan people, resolving the food problem, finding a way to live in a sustainable manner, resolving diplomatic issues between countries that have been plaguing the world for decades, finding a cure for cancer. all these big big things plus all the other smaller things that matter in life- helping people find their self esteem and confidence, ending abuse, racial harmony, going in the right direction in one's life. all these thoughts swirl around in my head, and there's nothing more than anything that i can want than to be able to just retreat into these thoughts, think about all these things and figure out why they matter so much, and why the world hasn't been able to come to a resolution, or rather, resolutions, about them. i want to do my part to help, but me being me where i am now, there's little i can do to impact these decisions, but i refuse to let these cripple me- my time will come, i promise:) right now, the most important thing to do is study to get the grades i need to get me where i want to be.

when you think a little deeper, you realise that it all seems doable- because they ARE. maybe you just need the right person, the right situation, the right shove in the right direction, and it all boils down to an IT. an IT noone knows what it is yet, but they will soon find out. history is an interesting thing, because every day, the subject area gets a little bigger, the things we can learn from, be it catastrophic events or just another yesterday in our lives. this is why i love history. people living in the 1930s would never have expected world war two would they? or expect to survive it? but some of them are here today, evidence to the world that world war two happened, and they lived through it. it's the same for us. we are living in the 2000s, soon to be 2010s, no one can predict with a day in their life now will become a very important moment in history half a century later.

that's why, live your life to the fullest, to the best that it can be, and give all of yourself everyday, leaving no space for regrets. because time cannot turn backwards, and what you did or did not do can never happen at the same time and place, again. i'd say go with your guts. you don't have to live dangerously (like living on the edge) to do that. you just need to believe in yourself, and know that opportunities don't find you- you find them, and grab them tightly so they cannot flit right out of the door way into someone else's. there's often no time for hesitation.

Ghandi once said that man is but the product of his thoughts. what you think, you are. think yourself to be who you want to be, and you will be. it's a matter of time:)

i think of myself as a foreign service officer, and then diplomat. i can.

now back to how edge enhancement works:(