Tired, tired tired. The feeling of your eyelids drooping in the oh-so-enticing manner, practically shouting out at you to close your eyes for a moment, your brain telling you that the teacher won't notice it, and that it is, afterall, just one moment.

It is so easy to give in to temptation. I always get the feeling that it is harder to do the right thing:( and its increasingly harder to stay cheerful amid all the gloomy results and the even gloomier prospect of having to explain the former. i keep repeating this: it IS a one off thing, and i promise it won't happen again. i can't even explain it properly myself, because i seem to auto-substitute the words that i read on the question papers. its definitely NOT that i don't know my stuffs, and you can sort of see it from my answers. why is it then i have to answer the somewhat ludicrous question of, "did you really open your book to study?"

And then this thing about daddy flying off overseas for work. i didnt use to feel the impact of it in secondary school, cos i usually can hitch a ride with classmates/council mates who live in the next block. but now? i realise how much i am hating public transport in singapore. especially in the early hours of the morning. without daddy's usual lift to school, i wake up 30 mins earlier everyday, leave the house 20 minutes earlier, and i still reach school 20 minutes later. it is really getting on my nerves. like REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES.

i get to the mrt station and what does the tv screen say? next train, 6 mins. then for the next 3 mins, it still flashes 6 minutes. HELLO, doesn't that equate to 9 minutes already? then when i get on the train, i get a seat, only to have to give it up after say, one or two stops. not that i am complaining about giving the seats up-- it is right to give it up to people who need it more than me, but hello, i am wasting productive minutes (saying this makes me feel like a nerd who walks around with notes every minute of my free time, which i am NOT, though i am trying to emulate this example)

and my arms ache from carrying my file and book. and people nudge me around. and i get really short tempered. i hate getting to school on the dot, or late. i like being early. I LOVE BEING EARLY. sitting at the SAC, chatting a little with doro, then reading a set of notes just before morning assembly, accompanied by a cup of teh-o is my favourite-est habit in the world. then on the bus. let's just say that by the time we get off at the bus stop, i am feeling almost murderous. ALMOST. and then when i get home at night i read an article on yahoo about how the ministry says that the public transport has not yet reached their serving capacity. it is SO

EASY for them to release statements of such, but lemme just pose one question: does our transport minister, or any minister for that fact, take public transport to work every morning on weekdays, be it rain or shine? not that i am criticising the public transport, which i'll admit, is extremely clean and usually on time (as stated on the tv screen). but, please, understand my pain.

i go to school , so tired and stressed about my work, then on the way to school, i can't even get any peace and quiet or even thinking time. another week of this and i will seriously consider skipping school in the morn JUST TO AVOID THE WORK CROWD (ok, maybe not skip, but well, find some other way:)) thank god daddy's coming home on thurs night. i miss him terribly. and i miss him sending me to school.

come back soon. thursday night can't come fast enough:X and i have to endure another day of public transport tomorrow morning. i am at my wits end. SAVE ME.

i think i will need shoulders broader than a swimmer's or a rugger's for that matter to bear with public transport in the morning.