been wanting to update on and off, but never finding the right mood to, or knowing what to write, not that i usually plan what to, it usually just flows. but i think i wanna let off a little steam today, directed at someone in particular, most likely not you, so no offense.

some of us do not have the privilege to skip school when we feel tired, or when we urgently have work to do, but those who can should not abuse this right. if you are lucky to be born into a family where your parent(s) are doctors, or have relatives who are, then you're lucky. don't go around flaunting that you are going to be absent the next day, like prophet who can oh-so-coincidentally predict what will happen the next day. keep quiet, and when people ask, just say that you are sick. is it so hard to keep mum? i'll admit it: i don't have the privilege to, and i don't want it, thank you very much. but if the lucky few chooses to skip school, stop asking what the teacher taught the day you were absent, at home doing your work (like a closet mugger does), or tell the teacher that you are feeling 'unwell' but want to come back for the period where we have biology lab. hypocrite. how can one sound and be well at night and miraculously fall sick in the morn, and come to school in the afternoon for practical?

i wake up so FREAKING TIRED in the morning and i still drag myself to school, being a responsible student and all, who does not want to waste my parents' money on school fees. i have A TON OF WORK DUE (EETOKIA) and i still go to school. mere mortals like us bounded by the legislation work our way around it, not OVER IT, nor ignore it. i sleep seven hours and i wake up with a perpetual ache in my right shoulders that never go away, my mind tired because all i dreamt of was the work that will be due. i wake up not being able to breathe sometimes. do i tell anyone? no. at least not the whole story.



have you felt like you don't want to hide it anymore, that you need to tell it to someone? i have. and here i am spilling onto these pages because i am somewhat angry thanks to that person, though i still want him as a friend because he is a good friend, but hello, do you feel guilt? a struggle of choice. i don't think i'll ever survive as a moral nihilist, because there is one system of ethics, morals and actions that is better than the other.

donated blood today, and still getting a bruise on the elbow, like the last time:( but it is worth it, because i have indirectly saved three people:) i'm an ethical altruist.