been feeling somewhat tired and lethargic this week. it's crazy, really, to expect that people will slow down for you, that they will treat you with a sincere heart. sometimes its kinda hard to know if that person really means what he's saying, because no one can see what is running through his head. if there was one ability i can have, it would be to read minds, every single thought.

everyone's like done or nearly done with the IAs and EEs and im still there, stuck in between, neither here nor there. there's a negative gravity pulling my down, and trying to find book sources is almost like breathing in water- painful and difficult. i've always wondered why some people say that EE is hard- now the truth is slammed right into my face. not a pretty sight.

when i stop, look back and then think, i realised that life is really shallow soemtimes. in five years, would your IB results still matter? if it doesn't, then why does is matter so damn much now? almost as if it loses its value exponentially once we get it. crave something that you don't have, yet once you get it, you push it aside. perhaps all of us have to first fall really really hard before we learn to treasure ourselves and the little things we have in life. sometimes i cannot help but feel that some people don't act their age, and it pisses me off- a lot, sadly.

how can you be nearly eighteen and still think and act like an immature teenager barely sixteen? hello? is there really just grey fluff in your heads? those girls- i really wonder of their shallow existence is all they care about. because one day they will wake up and realise that they have achieved nothing- still stuck at the bottom tier of that self actualization tree.

im sorry. i didn't mean to take it out on my readers (that is, if i even have any), but it does feel better to get it all out:)