i m so so desperately looking for hope. HOPE.

"I've searched high and low for this mere hope, nowhere did i succeed in finding on this globe."

where is the hope? i just wanna pass my physics. (which mr tan says i did) and apparently there are alot of failures!!!!!!! oh no. everyone, prepare tissue!! fast fast. my class: less than 10. 3/4: a lot of gals... are we gals THAT bad at physics? i've come to realise that as most physics teachers are MALES.

and i hope that i can get A for el, ss, hist, bio, a maths. mayb? i dont want to be self delusional. or mayb i m just giving myself false hope. the higher your hopes, the harder they fall. and i dont want that to happen...... not any more. sometimes, i just dont believe in miracles anymore. cause they dont seem to come true. or even happen. scary.

"Hope calculates its scenes for a long and durable life; presses forward to imaginary points of bliss; and grasps at impossibilities; and consequently very often ensnares men into beggary, ruin and dishonor. "

- Joseph Addison

"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it."

- Magaret Weis

aha. i just want to be in denial LET ME BE. please. let tomorrow stay as tomorrow and today to never pass. i m excited, yet nervous. i want to know if my hard work paid off, but m afraid to know that it hasnt.

isnt that me contriadicting myself?!?

i m driven over the cliff by sheer worrying.