thank you, you and you. for being there when i couldnt control it anymore. it might be silly and stupid, but thanks for caring. and being there.

thank you. sorry i wet your shoulders....:) didnt mean to but once i let go i couldnt stop. its hard to let go you know. i m glad i did when you were there for me.

thank you for the chocs. thanks for getting them. and for listening to me rant and vent. thanks for making me feel better and for making me smile when i thought all was gloomy.

thank you for telling me that you care. at least now i know someone does:) o. and thanks for the tissue. haha.

its a scary thing. anger is. when i started venting a just realised that all the hurt snowballed into something bigger. and i felt like crying all over again. when i write down how i feel, its like revisiting that afternoon. like all the hurt which i thought went away came back. and it hurts even more badly. and i just felt like ending it all. its the kind of hollow which eats you up inside. feeling the pain but not knowing where exactly it hurts.

the heart is like a pool, drying up slowly under the hot sun. and when its dry you can no longer feel.

i wish i could no longer feel. then i wont waste all those tears. the first time i cried because of a teacher. its the beginning of the end. i miss you cher. come back!! when you're gone, nothing seems right anymore. even the textbook feels foreign, my presence in a class not taught by you made me feel out of place.

lastly, thanks you for telling me to sleep. to sleep away all the hurt. mayb it will hurt a little less today morning? it did. for a while. then all came back. but at least i felt relieved for awhile.


HURT.
PAIN.
NUMBNESS.

how can i numb myself?